If there is ONE thing that I need to remind myself of with my own child, it has got to be RESPECT. Yes, respect. Not the usual respect your mom, pop and family crap... Respect your domestic help.
I have the pleasure of observing a 10 year-old and a 5 year-old boys, screaming their little lungs out for the attention (trust me, I was on the 3rd floor, and I hear EVERYTHING) of the domestic help from both level (living room AND 2nd storey bedroom) at the same time. The best part, they did that for mudanely small stuff such as "where's MY cereal?", "come here, I want my milk"...
I had the WTF-look whilst typing this into my blog.
Not sure if it really is a case where the domestic helper simply ignores the 10 year-old who was watching his own cartoon network channel on level 2 or, perhaps the younger 5 year-old is simply way too needy for his own good.
They are BOYS for goodness' sakes!! Where's the bloody independence? Where's the "please", "may I", "thank you"? Such bold rudeness shall never, and will never be tolerated, at least not under MY household.
I find it highly disturbing, "what are these 2 monsters going to grow up into?". Slightly exasperated, I know I can't do anything since their grand parents (aka my in laws) does nothing about it at all.
And who'd listen to a hormonally charged preggy monster anyway?
Friday, May 15, 2009
Thursday, May 14, 2009
Where the tide works against the Pinkies..
A particular piece of new on Yahoo! new piqued my interests. It was an article on the debate over some of the new NMP-hopefuls who are apparently pro-LGBT activists.
Which brought me to "REACH", which is a "Feedback Unit to move beyond gathering public feedback, and to become the lead agency for engaging and connecting with citizens" -REACH, 2009. And I have NO IDEA it exists *shrugs*.
The debate sparked after one of the contributors suggested that there should be an appointed LGBT representative "to speak out in Parliament, and to assess their acceptability in Mainstream Singapore".
Commentaries that followed were swift and rigid, defending everything from Asian and Family Values, Penal code 377A to values that threatens the beliefs of the majority (Singaporeans).
This got me thinking aloud... Is LGBT a possible issue / cause that will "create tension and crack in harmony of the multi-racial and multi-religious Singapore"?
This blog entry really has no political motive of whatsoever, neither am I an activist for anything at all (yeah, a disclaimer... you'd never know when you need one till it's too late). Of whom I totally agree with Chen, who wrote on REACH, "...We don't discriminate homosexuals but we also don't tell people is normal to be homosexuals, is like we don't discriminate smokers, but do we go arond tell people smoking is normal and healthy?"
I have friends, quite a fair share, who are LGBTs and knowing their existence from a young and impressionable age does change my views about sexuality. Not in the way you think, but more in the form of being aware that it is possible that someone of the same sex as you can have feelings of "liking" and "love", which may ultimately lead to acts of passion and expressions of love like any straight or mainstream couple.
This hightened sense of awareness of a non-mainstream group more than often lead to hightened sensitivity and empathy towards LGBTs in the society. Although it is also possible for a young and impressionable person to be "affected", which may in turn lead to a change in sexual orientation. Reasons for doing so are a plenty, ranging from low self-esteem / image issues (which can branch out into a million things), trends, to simply genetics.
Although there are plenty of cases that going "the other way" isn't restricted only to the young and impressionables, as it is proven that this can happen to anyone, at any point of time in their lives. As long as one is willing, nothing is impossible. For this, don't ask me what I think about "delayed" realisation. My take on that is it's more "manufactured" than "natural" (get the drift, no? Then don't bother anyway).
If one of your child some how decides to join the "other forces", parents will really need to review themselves. What kind of role have you been to your child? I truly believe that a strong foundation, and close knit relationship with parents as a necessary vaccine towards future "evils" (or what I like to call, "alternative" cultures much of which I might have a hand at too).
If the answer really is lies in genetics, that will mean no one can change or control its evolution. So if LGBTs are decided genetically, they cannot help being who they are, so who are we to judge them? Who are we to tell them that they do not belong here, that they do not fit into our society's fabric of culture and values, so we do not want to know what they think about the society we all are building together?
I don't know how other families work, but I do know that you love and accept your family as they are; gay or straight, pink or black. That's Asian family values, you love your family no matter what.
Asia is the home to some of the most bizarre cultures and practices, most of which are probably weirder than "Weird Al Yankovic", so why do we find it so hard to accept a bunch of people who happen to be different from yourself? If Singaporeans can be tolerant to so many cultures, races and religions, what is one more group to us?
Perhaps, it is just us. Singaporeans just can't (or should I say, "refuse to")accept something that they cannot comprehend. When it comes to love, there is no logic.
It is hard enough for LGBTs who had to lie to keep their covers (a lie that they have live with almost for the rest of their lives) and protect their family's Asian "dignity". It is hard enough that they have to live in a constant struggle, only to find temporal relief in shadows.
Everyone's entitled to their own views and rights of speech. But maybe, if you are willing to open your heart to see who these people as they are, you might just find enough space to accomodate one more "difference" in our society.
If you really cannot accept it, you can choose to ignore their existence, look the other way, but don't make it any harder.
Which brought me to "REACH", which is a "Feedback Unit to move beyond gathering public feedback, and to become the lead agency for engaging and connecting with citizens" -REACH, 2009. And I have NO IDEA it exists *shrugs*.
The debate sparked after one of the contributors suggested that there should be an appointed LGBT representative "to speak out in Parliament, and to assess their acceptability in Mainstream Singapore".
Commentaries that followed were swift and rigid, defending everything from Asian and Family Values, Penal code 377A to values that threatens the beliefs of the majority (Singaporeans).
This got me thinking aloud... Is LGBT a possible issue / cause that will "create tension and crack in harmony of the multi-racial and multi-religious Singapore"?
This blog entry really has no political motive of whatsoever, neither am I an activist for anything at all (yeah, a disclaimer... you'd never know when you need one till it's too late). Of whom I totally agree with Chen, who wrote on REACH, "...We don't discriminate homosexuals but we also don't tell people is normal to be homosexuals, is like we don't discriminate smokers, but do we go arond tell people smoking is normal and healthy?"
I have friends, quite a fair share, who are LGBTs and knowing their existence from a young and impressionable age does change my views about sexuality. Not in the way you think, but more in the form of being aware that it is possible that someone of the same sex as you can have feelings of "liking" and "love", which may ultimately lead to acts of passion and expressions of love like any straight or mainstream couple.
This hightened sense of awareness of a non-mainstream group more than often lead to hightened sensitivity and empathy towards LGBTs in the society. Although it is also possible for a young and impressionable person to be "affected", which may in turn lead to a change in sexual orientation. Reasons for doing so are a plenty, ranging from low self-esteem / image issues (which can branch out into a million things), trends, to simply genetics.
Although there are plenty of cases that going "the other way" isn't restricted only to the young and impressionables, as it is proven that this can happen to anyone, at any point of time in their lives. As long as one is willing, nothing is impossible. For this, don't ask me what I think about "delayed" realisation. My take on that is it's more "manufactured" than "natural" (get the drift, no? Then don't bother anyway).
If one of your child some how decides to join the "other forces", parents will really need to review themselves. What kind of role have you been to your child? I truly believe that a strong foundation, and close knit relationship with parents as a necessary vaccine towards future "evils" (or what I like to call, "alternative" cultures much of which I might have a hand at too).
If the answer really is lies in genetics, that will mean no one can change or control its evolution. So if LGBTs are decided genetically, they cannot help being who they are, so who are we to judge them? Who are we to tell them that they do not belong here, that they do not fit into our society's fabric of culture and values, so we do not want to know what they think about the society we all are building together?
I don't know how other families work, but I do know that you love and accept your family as they are; gay or straight, pink or black. That's Asian family values, you love your family no matter what.
Asia is the home to some of the most bizarre cultures and practices, most of which are probably weirder than "Weird Al Yankovic", so why do we find it so hard to accept a bunch of people who happen to be different from yourself? If Singaporeans can be tolerant to so many cultures, races and religions, what is one more group to us?
Perhaps, it is just us. Singaporeans just can't (or should I say, "refuse to")accept something that they cannot comprehend. When it comes to love, there is no logic.
It is hard enough for LGBTs who had to lie to keep their covers (a lie that they have live with almost for the rest of their lives) and protect their family's Asian "dignity". It is hard enough that they have to live in a constant struggle, only to find temporal relief in shadows.
Everyone's entitled to their own views and rights of speech. But maybe, if you are willing to open your heart to see who these people as they are, you might just find enough space to accomodate one more "difference" in our society.
If you really cannot accept it, you can choose to ignore their existence, look the other way, but don't make it any harder.
Wednesday, May 6, 2009
A new adventure awaits
I really don't know what to make of my current state. Am I excited? Am I scared? Am I worried? Am I happy? Am I ready? Am I not?
The fact is, I do feel like a ball of raw nerves, undecided, unsure yet somehow an inkling at the back of my mind tells me it's all going to be fine. In fact, better than fine.
This is HUGE man (definitely not referring to the rapid expansion of my mid-section, of which I constantly think of it as the "meat" section too). First, I decided to get hitched and have all preparations insanely pulled together within 7 months (which really is 7 weeks in fact). Then comes this miraculous little blob of life who had continued to fixate itself onto my uterus wall, despite 9 full weeks of very, VERY un-mother-like behaviour of it's carrier (yours truly).
I have since then given up all my favourite vices (I will miss my cigarettes and beer... but I am sure they can wait), because it is the right thing to do.
The fact is, I do feel like a ball of raw nerves, undecided, unsure yet somehow an inkling at the back of my mind tells me it's all going to be fine. In fact, better than fine.
This is HUGE man (definitely not referring to the rapid expansion of my mid-section, of which I constantly think of it as the "meat" section too). First, I decided to get hitched and have all preparations insanely pulled together within 7 months (which really is 7 weeks in fact). Then comes this miraculous little blob of life who had continued to fixate itself onto my uterus wall, despite 9 full weeks of very, VERY un-mother-like behaviour of it's carrier (yours truly).
I have since then given up all my favourite vices (I will miss my cigarettes and beer... but I am sure they can wait), because it is the right thing to do.
My body isn't just mine alone anymore (for the next couple of months at least), because what I do, has a direct effect on another's life. It will be wrong of me to continue smoking and drinking because of my own whimps and let my child live with my mistake for life. It is just not fair. I wouldn't want my mom to do that to me, neither should I do that to my child.
So as the days and week progresses, my daily cocktail includes insane amount of frolic acid, DHA etc, in a cocktail of pills, milk formula and supposed "balanced" diet.
I really don't mind the vanishing waistline nor the uncontrollable hunger pangs, but I really wished constipation wasn't such a bitch. Well, who said pregnancy's a smooth ride anyway. And I already have it good, cos constipation is apparently my only problem.
Unexpected and unplanned as it might be, I believe that this little addition to our family couldn't have chosen a better time to come into our lives.
Saturday, December 27, 2008
Excuses and Reasons... Would if have mattered?
Today, I chanced upon an interesting quote (which coincidentally is very applicable to some happenings earlier today);
Which led me to search for a dictionary explaination for this word that has since become a common place in our day to day lives; "Excuse". According to www.dictionary.com, an excuse is "an explanation offered as a reason for being excused." Which means, it's an explaination, but not amounting to a reason.
I don't know about you, but I hate excuses. Especially when I am really, really pissed about something. On most of the days, I am actually pretty accepting, and even believeable when it comes to excuses.
But it's just not one of those days today, when a very close friend offered not one, but 3 excuses as an explaination for what has happened. Not only did I not bite on the explaination offered, I saw a change, and my heart sank.
A week ago before my wedding, my friend asked, "are you going to change after you are married?". With mock amusement, I replied after a pause, "unlikely, afterall Derrick and I have been together for a while, and we are quite used to each other". My friend turned over with a widw grin, "yeah, i thought so too".
After the short exchange, an invisible, subconsious agreement formed between us. It was like an agreement that things between us will not change no matter what (i.e. still make time for each other, talk to each other, be there for each other, be truthful and respectful to each other as we've always been).
7 days later, all that changed. And finally in return for our friendship, I was offered 3 excuses... all of which meant nothing to me... Not because I am not listening, but I know she probably made a decision without much thought, and I am greatly saddened because even she don't know the reasons.
I though I deserved better than that... I deserve a reason, not 3 excuses...
To the friend who sees no end: Here's to our own happiness... wherever we are...
"Two wrongs don't make a right, but they make a good excuse."
~Thomas Szasz, The Second Sin
Which led me to search for a dictionary explaination for this word that has since become a common place in our day to day lives; "Excuse". According to www.dictionary.com, an excuse is "an explanation offered as a reason for being excused." Which means, it's an explaination, but not amounting to a reason.
I don't know about you, but I hate excuses. Especially when I am really, really pissed about something. On most of the days, I am actually pretty accepting, and even believeable when it comes to excuses.
But it's just not one of those days today, when a very close friend offered not one, but 3 excuses as an explaination for what has happened. Not only did I not bite on the explaination offered, I saw a change, and my heart sank.
A week ago before my wedding, my friend asked, "are you going to change after you are married?". With mock amusement, I replied after a pause, "unlikely, afterall Derrick and I have been together for a while, and we are quite used to each other". My friend turned over with a widw grin, "yeah, i thought so too".
After the short exchange, an invisible, subconsious agreement formed between us. It was like an agreement that things between us will not change no matter what (i.e. still make time for each other, talk to each other, be there for each other, be truthful and respectful to each other as we've always been).
7 days later, all that changed. And finally in return for our friendship, I was offered 3 excuses... all of which meant nothing to me... Not because I am not listening, but I know she probably made a decision without much thought, and I am greatly saddened because even she don't know the reasons.
I though I deserved better than that... I deserve a reason, not 3 excuses...
To the friend who sees no end: Here's to our own happiness... wherever we are...
Friday, December 26, 2008
Grapevine, the sort of communication system you should never, ever depend on...
Our world has progress by leaps and bounds, especially in the expansive variety of communication vehicles that helps the modern people (supposedly defined as extremely busy people who are driven to work like slaves in return for nothing less than a paltry pay and an abused, disillusioned soul) make new friends and keep old friendships going....
Perhaps, the conveniences that one reaps from technology actually makes one lazier...
I always believe that the value of the message and the position of the recipient will determine the form of communication / delivery mode the sender (or in this case, the author) intends to put through. Hence, I am always very appreciative of small little hand-written cards.
For example, if it's a message to ask if your friends are keen to have dinner, you can do away with the addressing, and the formality of a voice call even. A note, an SMS or even and MSN message will suffice.
But if it is something that the sender think might be of a more private nature, where the reaction of the recipient might be voilatile (in the negative sense of course), the sender should consider a more one-on-one mode of communication, such as a phone call, or even a meet up.
The worst communication mode of it all, is to HOPE that the grapevine will carry your "desired" message to the rest of the intended recipients. Unless your grapevine comes in the form of a published matter, that has been edited and proof-read for consistency and accurarcy, you have absolutely NO chance of getting the RIGHT message across.
It takes years to nature and build a relationship, and all it takes is one single word, uttered or slipped out the wrong way to destroy it, especially when the message content, recipient position and mode of communication totally belittles the relationship.
It sounds really minor, but it's a great deal to me... With every kind of relationships (kindship, courtship, friendship etc), you're not just sharing a piece of cake, a short story or even the latest gossips... you have inevitably shared a part of who you are with the other party.
That's what makes all relationships valuable and unique, all it takes is a little respect for it to go a long way.
To this end, it is with much regret that some good things do come to an end...
Perhaps, the conveniences that one reaps from technology actually makes one lazier...
I always believe that the value of the message and the position of the recipient will determine the form of communication / delivery mode the sender (or in this case, the author) intends to put through. Hence, I am always very appreciative of small little hand-written cards.
For example, if it's a message to ask if your friends are keen to have dinner, you can do away with the addressing, and the formality of a voice call even. A note, an SMS or even and MSN message will suffice.
But if it is something that the sender think might be of a more private nature, where the reaction of the recipient might be voilatile (in the negative sense of course), the sender should consider a more one-on-one mode of communication, such as a phone call, or even a meet up.
The worst communication mode of it all, is to HOPE that the grapevine will carry your "desired" message to the rest of the intended recipients. Unless your grapevine comes in the form of a published matter, that has been edited and proof-read for consistency and accurarcy, you have absolutely NO chance of getting the RIGHT message across.
It takes years to nature and build a relationship, and all it takes is one single word, uttered or slipped out the wrong way to destroy it, especially when the message content, recipient position and mode of communication totally belittles the relationship.
It sounds really minor, but it's a great deal to me... With every kind of relationships (kindship, courtship, friendship etc), you're not just sharing a piece of cake, a short story or even the latest gossips... you have inevitably shared a part of who you are with the other party.
That's what makes all relationships valuable and unique, all it takes is a little respect for it to go a long way.
To this end, it is with much regret that some good things do come to an end...
Thursday, August 7, 2008
Hitting the keys (as in keyboard) again...
Before my little study cum home was office set up, I would often stand at the doorway wondering when these stacks of boxes will be put away. My favourite part of the room is the windows and the see-through door leading to the tiny balcony. I like to just look out of these windows, and spacing out, mentally jotting down the millions of things I will record on my NEW blog.
The illusive "New" blog finally crystalise after Rachel rapped my little shell, and gave me a more reasons to start this forgotten blog.
I want to record this significant period of my life, detailing the thoughts of an almost 30-year-old "chick"(never quite like the term, "woman", it's kinda serious isn't it?), who's an unlikely marriage-kind-of-person, scrapping through work and night-classes, fiddling with pet boxer and beagle, putting a wedding together, and finding ways to stay in love with my job...
And of course I will be writing about things that happen randomly (they always happen randomly in my life), perhaps attributable to my immense dislike for "Plans" (with the exception of work and job planning of course)... Life's too short to plan, and since when anything you've planned actually turned out EXACTLY the way you wanted it?
5 years, 10 years, 15 years... Come on, you can't even see the end of 2008 and you're already in 2013???
The illusive "New" blog finally crystalise after Rachel rapped my little shell, and gave me a more reasons to start this forgotten blog.
I want to record this significant period of my life, detailing the thoughts of an almost 30-year-old "chick"(never quite like the term, "woman", it's kinda serious isn't it?), who's an unlikely marriage-kind-of-person, scrapping through work and night-classes, fiddling with pet boxer and beagle, putting a wedding together, and finding ways to stay in love with my job...
And of course I will be writing about things that happen randomly (they always happen randomly in my life), perhaps attributable to my immense dislike for "Plans" (with the exception of work and job planning of course)... Life's too short to plan, and since when anything you've planned actually turned out EXACTLY the way you wanted it?
5 years, 10 years, 15 years... Come on, you can't even see the end of 2008 and you're already in 2013???
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