If there is ONE thing that I need to remind myself of with my own child, it has got to be RESPECT. Yes, respect. Not the usual respect your mom, pop and family crap... Respect your domestic help.
I have the pleasure of observing a 10 year-old and a 5 year-old boys, screaming their little lungs out for the attention (trust me, I was on the 3rd floor, and I hear EVERYTHING) of the domestic help from both level (living room AND 2nd storey bedroom) at the same time. The best part, they did that for mudanely small stuff such as "where's MY cereal?", "come here, I want my milk"...
I had the WTF-look whilst typing this into my blog.
Not sure if it really is a case where the domestic helper simply ignores the 10 year-old who was watching his own cartoon network channel on level 2 or, perhaps the younger 5 year-old is simply way too needy for his own good.
They are BOYS for goodness' sakes!! Where's the bloody independence? Where's the "please", "may I", "thank you"? Such bold rudeness shall never, and will never be tolerated, at least not under MY household.
I find it highly disturbing, "what are these 2 monsters going to grow up into?". Slightly exasperated, I know I can't do anything since their grand parents (aka my in laws) does nothing about it at all.
And who'd listen to a hormonally charged preggy monster anyway?
Friday, May 15, 2009
Thursday, May 14, 2009
Where the tide works against the Pinkies..
A particular piece of new on Yahoo! new piqued my interests. It was an article on the debate over some of the new NMP-hopefuls who are apparently pro-LGBT activists.
Which brought me to "REACH", which is a "Feedback Unit to move beyond gathering public feedback, and to become the lead agency for engaging and connecting with citizens" -REACH, 2009. And I have NO IDEA it exists *shrugs*.
The debate sparked after one of the contributors suggested that there should be an appointed LGBT representative "to speak out in Parliament, and to assess their acceptability in Mainstream Singapore".
Commentaries that followed were swift and rigid, defending everything from Asian and Family Values, Penal code 377A to values that threatens the beliefs of the majority (Singaporeans).
This got me thinking aloud... Is LGBT a possible issue / cause that will "create tension and crack in harmony of the multi-racial and multi-religious Singapore"?
This blog entry really has no political motive of whatsoever, neither am I an activist for anything at all (yeah, a disclaimer... you'd never know when you need one till it's too late). Of whom I totally agree with Chen, who wrote on REACH, "...We don't discriminate homosexuals but we also don't tell people is normal to be homosexuals, is like we don't discriminate smokers, but do we go arond tell people smoking is normal and healthy?"
I have friends, quite a fair share, who are LGBTs and knowing their existence from a young and impressionable age does change my views about sexuality. Not in the way you think, but more in the form of being aware that it is possible that someone of the same sex as you can have feelings of "liking" and "love", which may ultimately lead to acts of passion and expressions of love like any straight or mainstream couple.
This hightened sense of awareness of a non-mainstream group more than often lead to hightened sensitivity and empathy towards LGBTs in the society. Although it is also possible for a young and impressionable person to be "affected", which may in turn lead to a change in sexual orientation. Reasons for doing so are a plenty, ranging from low self-esteem / image issues (which can branch out into a million things), trends, to simply genetics.
Although there are plenty of cases that going "the other way" isn't restricted only to the young and impressionables, as it is proven that this can happen to anyone, at any point of time in their lives. As long as one is willing, nothing is impossible. For this, don't ask me what I think about "delayed" realisation. My take on that is it's more "manufactured" than "natural" (get the drift, no? Then don't bother anyway).
If one of your child some how decides to join the "other forces", parents will really need to review themselves. What kind of role have you been to your child? I truly believe that a strong foundation, and close knit relationship with parents as a necessary vaccine towards future "evils" (or what I like to call, "alternative" cultures much of which I might have a hand at too).
If the answer really is lies in genetics, that will mean no one can change or control its evolution. So if LGBTs are decided genetically, they cannot help being who they are, so who are we to judge them? Who are we to tell them that they do not belong here, that they do not fit into our society's fabric of culture and values, so we do not want to know what they think about the society we all are building together?
I don't know how other families work, but I do know that you love and accept your family as they are; gay or straight, pink or black. That's Asian family values, you love your family no matter what.
Asia is the home to some of the most bizarre cultures and practices, most of which are probably weirder than "Weird Al Yankovic", so why do we find it so hard to accept a bunch of people who happen to be different from yourself? If Singaporeans can be tolerant to so many cultures, races and religions, what is one more group to us?
Perhaps, it is just us. Singaporeans just can't (or should I say, "refuse to")accept something that they cannot comprehend. When it comes to love, there is no logic.
It is hard enough for LGBTs who had to lie to keep their covers (a lie that they have live with almost for the rest of their lives) and protect their family's Asian "dignity". It is hard enough that they have to live in a constant struggle, only to find temporal relief in shadows.
Everyone's entitled to their own views and rights of speech. But maybe, if you are willing to open your heart to see who these people as they are, you might just find enough space to accomodate one more "difference" in our society.
If you really cannot accept it, you can choose to ignore their existence, look the other way, but don't make it any harder.
Which brought me to "REACH", which is a "Feedback Unit to move beyond gathering public feedback, and to become the lead agency for engaging and connecting with citizens" -REACH, 2009. And I have NO IDEA it exists *shrugs*.
The debate sparked after one of the contributors suggested that there should be an appointed LGBT representative "to speak out in Parliament, and to assess their acceptability in Mainstream Singapore".
Commentaries that followed were swift and rigid, defending everything from Asian and Family Values, Penal code 377A to values that threatens the beliefs of the majority (Singaporeans).
This got me thinking aloud... Is LGBT a possible issue / cause that will "create tension and crack in harmony of the multi-racial and multi-religious Singapore"?
This blog entry really has no political motive of whatsoever, neither am I an activist for anything at all (yeah, a disclaimer... you'd never know when you need one till it's too late). Of whom I totally agree with Chen, who wrote on REACH, "...We don't discriminate homosexuals but we also don't tell people is normal to be homosexuals, is like we don't discriminate smokers, but do we go arond tell people smoking is normal and healthy?"
I have friends, quite a fair share, who are LGBTs and knowing their existence from a young and impressionable age does change my views about sexuality. Not in the way you think, but more in the form of being aware that it is possible that someone of the same sex as you can have feelings of "liking" and "love", which may ultimately lead to acts of passion and expressions of love like any straight or mainstream couple.
This hightened sense of awareness of a non-mainstream group more than often lead to hightened sensitivity and empathy towards LGBTs in the society. Although it is also possible for a young and impressionable person to be "affected", which may in turn lead to a change in sexual orientation. Reasons for doing so are a plenty, ranging from low self-esteem / image issues (which can branch out into a million things), trends, to simply genetics.
Although there are plenty of cases that going "the other way" isn't restricted only to the young and impressionables, as it is proven that this can happen to anyone, at any point of time in their lives. As long as one is willing, nothing is impossible. For this, don't ask me what I think about "delayed" realisation. My take on that is it's more "manufactured" than "natural" (get the drift, no? Then don't bother anyway).
If one of your child some how decides to join the "other forces", parents will really need to review themselves. What kind of role have you been to your child? I truly believe that a strong foundation, and close knit relationship with parents as a necessary vaccine towards future "evils" (or what I like to call, "alternative" cultures much of which I might have a hand at too).
If the answer really is lies in genetics, that will mean no one can change or control its evolution. So if LGBTs are decided genetically, they cannot help being who they are, so who are we to judge them? Who are we to tell them that they do not belong here, that they do not fit into our society's fabric of culture and values, so we do not want to know what they think about the society we all are building together?
I don't know how other families work, but I do know that you love and accept your family as they are; gay or straight, pink or black. That's Asian family values, you love your family no matter what.
Asia is the home to some of the most bizarre cultures and practices, most of which are probably weirder than "Weird Al Yankovic", so why do we find it so hard to accept a bunch of people who happen to be different from yourself? If Singaporeans can be tolerant to so many cultures, races and religions, what is one more group to us?
Perhaps, it is just us. Singaporeans just can't (or should I say, "refuse to")accept something that they cannot comprehend. When it comes to love, there is no logic.
It is hard enough for LGBTs who had to lie to keep their covers (a lie that they have live with almost for the rest of their lives) and protect their family's Asian "dignity". It is hard enough that they have to live in a constant struggle, only to find temporal relief in shadows.
Everyone's entitled to their own views and rights of speech. But maybe, if you are willing to open your heart to see who these people as they are, you might just find enough space to accomodate one more "difference" in our society.
If you really cannot accept it, you can choose to ignore their existence, look the other way, but don't make it any harder.
Wednesday, May 6, 2009
A new adventure awaits
I really don't know what to make of my current state. Am I excited? Am I scared? Am I worried? Am I happy? Am I ready? Am I not?
The fact is, I do feel like a ball of raw nerves, undecided, unsure yet somehow an inkling at the back of my mind tells me it's all going to be fine. In fact, better than fine.
This is HUGE man (definitely not referring to the rapid expansion of my mid-section, of which I constantly think of it as the "meat" section too). First, I decided to get hitched and have all preparations insanely pulled together within 7 months (which really is 7 weeks in fact). Then comes this miraculous little blob of life who had continued to fixate itself onto my uterus wall, despite 9 full weeks of very, VERY un-mother-like behaviour of it's carrier (yours truly).
I have since then given up all my favourite vices (I will miss my cigarettes and beer... but I am sure they can wait), because it is the right thing to do.
The fact is, I do feel like a ball of raw nerves, undecided, unsure yet somehow an inkling at the back of my mind tells me it's all going to be fine. In fact, better than fine.
This is HUGE man (definitely not referring to the rapid expansion of my mid-section, of which I constantly think of it as the "meat" section too). First, I decided to get hitched and have all preparations insanely pulled together within 7 months (which really is 7 weeks in fact). Then comes this miraculous little blob of life who had continued to fixate itself onto my uterus wall, despite 9 full weeks of very, VERY un-mother-like behaviour of it's carrier (yours truly).
I have since then given up all my favourite vices (I will miss my cigarettes and beer... but I am sure they can wait), because it is the right thing to do.
My body isn't just mine alone anymore (for the next couple of months at least), because what I do, has a direct effect on another's life. It will be wrong of me to continue smoking and drinking because of my own whimps and let my child live with my mistake for life. It is just not fair. I wouldn't want my mom to do that to me, neither should I do that to my child.
So as the days and week progresses, my daily cocktail includes insane amount of frolic acid, DHA etc, in a cocktail of pills, milk formula and supposed "balanced" diet.
I really don't mind the vanishing waistline nor the uncontrollable hunger pangs, but I really wished constipation wasn't such a bitch. Well, who said pregnancy's a smooth ride anyway. And I already have it good, cos constipation is apparently my only problem.
Unexpected and unplanned as it might be, I believe that this little addition to our family couldn't have chosen a better time to come into our lives.
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